


Can I Borrow A Pencil?

by yawnnnn



Category: OMORI (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I needed to write about Kel don't ask, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kel needs a hug, Kel-centric, Long Shot, OMORI Spoilers, One Shot, Past Character Death, Pencil Borrowing, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29010444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yawnnnn/pseuds/yawnnnn
Summary: But with Basil, maybe, just maybe, he still has a chance.Then maybe he can find some small bit of the normal he once had. The normal he needs back.(Kel tries to befriend Basil after the accident, and it seems like it might just work out.)
Relationships: Aubrey & Basil & Hero & Kel & Sunny (OMORI), Aubrey & Basil & Kel (OMORI), Aubrey & Basil (OMORI), Aubrey & Kel (OMORI), Basil & Kel (OMORI), Hero & Kel (OMORI), Kel & Sunny (OMORI)
Comments: 58
Kudos: 215





	Can I Borrow A Pencil?

|

V

  
  


He and Basil share a single class right now. Just one. They used to share two, but the shy boy dropped out of P.E. after  _ that incident _ . It’s hard to have the same classes when you have different years, and polar opposite interests, but luckily he’d always pass the dull time in history watching some long documentary by bothering his plant-loving seat partner. 

It’s funny, his parents constantly reminded him that he’d been blessed being born out here. He didn’t have to try super hard to get good grades, and with a brother like Hero who used to tutor him there wasn’t any need to worry for tests. The low maintenance public school didn’t have the  _ ‘highest quality’ _ of education around, and the history class was a perfect demonstration of it. The teacher would pull out some outdated movie on the first world war and reel it during class, falling asleep ten minutes in. For the first week, he’d snicker with a couple other students at the snores that could be heard in the background, but by now it was just old news.

So last year he’d spent every single history class talking to Basil. Rambling about unimportant things while Basil nodded along politely. Kel would even give himself a mental point every time he got Basil to smile. One time (he’d forgotten what he said, curse his shit memory) he told Basil something that got him to burst in laughter so shamelessly loud that it woke up the teacher. He was sure it must’ve been something about Sunny. A couple times Kel had even opened up to the flower boy, because, like Sunny, he was a good listener. Easy to lay your problems onto.

_ He used to do all that. Not  _ **_anymore._ **

After  _ she  _ disappeared, it was so dreadfully quiet. Basil would always scoot to the far end of the table they sat at, and glance at the window, dark bags stretching under his eyes and an empty look ridden on his face. Basil was always able to just  _ think  _ like that, to stare at the sky and watch the clouds drift in pure, unnerving, silence. Kel  _ wasn’t.  _

He hated it. Whenever he tried to do that, cloudy thoughts would overwhelm his mind and Kel didn’t want that to happen. He didn’t want to think about it. He wanted to pretend everything was fine, because everything  _ is fine. It’s fine. It would all go back to normal soon. None of this was real.  _

He wants to be there for Basil, but he doesn’t have the heart to. Not after all the scalding rejections that have pierced his heart into tiny little pieces over and over. It’s like trying to be strong continues to make him grow weak. 

He tried to be there for Aubrey, but she pushed him away. He knows she’s stubborn as all hell and doesn’t mean it, but something in him is crying out that she does, so he never tried to approach her again. He should have. He really should have, but something about the wall he used to hold up is crumbling and it can’t defend against her attacks. But it’s okay. She has new friends now. And she hasn’t… completely forgotten about him. At least she doesn’t laugh or join in when Kim gives him his daily not-so-friendly shove in the shoulder.

He tried to be there for Sunny, but he’s a hopeless case. Or at least that’s what the voice in his head that wants to give up on him says. He still knocks on that familiar door every day, and is greeted with no answer. At first, Sunny’s mom would open the door and wave him off, but he hardly sees a single car in the driveway in the morning anymore. One time he caught Sunny staring through the window on the front lawn. He enthusiastically ran up to it and waved hello, but Sunny stared at him with those soulless eyes as he closed the curtains. They never opened again after that.

He tried to be there for Hero, but it’s like there’s an uncrossable rift between the separate halves of their rooms now. His own brother won’t even talk to him, just like everyone else. What is he doing wrong? He’s trying to be the best he can be-- the happiest he can be-- to move on the best way he can-- but instead of getting ahead, he feels left behind. He doesn’t want to mourn Mari any longer-- the feeling makes him so  _ so so sick and he wants to ignore it--  _ and he wants his brother to come back. He wants his parents to come back. Nevermind. He’s never been the favorite son, or the child to get all the attention, so he shouldn’t expect that. He really shouldn’t expect Hero to pay him any either. He doesn’t know why Hero even did so in the first place. 

**H̶e̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶M̶a̶r̶i̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶w̶h̶y̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶u̶n̶g̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶e̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶ ̶u̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶w̶a̶t̶c̶h̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶c̶l̶i̶m̶b̶,̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶v̶e̶n̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶h̶a̶p̶p̶e̶n̶i̶n̶g̶.̶ ̶H̶e̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶'̶v̶e̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶.̶ ̶J̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶K̶e̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶K̶e̶l̶.̶ ̶S̶t̶u̶p̶i̶d̶,̶ ̶i̶d̶i̶o̶t̶i̶c̶,̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶u̶s̶ ̶K̶e̶l̶.̶ ̶G̶o̶d̶.̶**

But with Basil, maybe,  _ just maybe,  _ he still has a chance. 

The blonde has never been the one to speak up first. And Basil’s kind, and understanding. He couldn’t hurt a fly, and he’d at least  _ respond  _ to Kel. (Hero couldn’t hurt a fly, but look where he ended up) Then maybe he could find some small bit of the normal he once had. The normal he needs back. 

_ And then when you’re with Basil, Sunny will come out of his house. He always liked Basil more than he ever liked you. If you bring Sunny to school, Aubrey will come talk to him. If anyone can shoot down her tough girl act it’s Sunny. And then with all three, we can go get Hero together and everything will be fine! _

Shut up. Shut. Up. Anyways, the real problem that Kel’s having is how to approach Basil. He could always say hi, but wouldn’t that be awkward? It might seem too happy to start with. He hates how he’s supposed to be acting sad over her. He doesn’t want to feel sad. It makes everything hurt, and he doesn’t want to rip the bandage off the wound while it’s still bleeding. He starts scribbling on the small notebook that he uses for who knows what.

And it’s then that his pencil lead snaps in two, and Kel gets sparked with an idea. A good one.

“Basil, can I borrow a pencil?” 

Blue eyes flicker up and quickly back down at the mention of his name, and Kel pushes out the biggest smile he’s ever given in his life. He prayed that it didn’t look forced. He knows that Basil prefers natural smiles, like the ones in all his photos. At the very least, he can remember that. 

A pretty green pencil that’s the same shade as a leaf rolls out in front of it as Basil finishes fishing it out of his backpack, and Kel catches it, slapping a hand on the desk (albeit, a little too loudly) with ease. He twirls it with his thumb and index finger, before resuming his scribbling. It felt nice, just seeing Basil move again. Normally he’s cold,  _ dead.  _ He shakes his head at the bad choice of words. No thinking about  _ that  _ for you Kel. He was past this. 

He feels a little happier. He feels like he shouldn’t be happy. He wants to feel normal.

|

V

Kel goes home. He returns to Hero, who is standing in the hallway. His face almost lights up from joy because it’s one of the first times he’s seen the other out of his bed.  _ Is he here to see me?! Welcome me back home-- _

The bathroom door is swinging. Of course. Hero goes back to his room, and he’s in the sheets again. Nothing has changed. This is just the new normal.

|

V

Kel knocks on Sunny’s door, and he gets no answer. Some part of him hopes Sunny is still there, by the door, on the other side. 

Today he decides to crack a joke. He can barely avoid facepalming for how ridiculous he must sound, saying something like this by a house that’s gone through so much. “Hey, uh… Sunny. D-- did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?”

Silence. God, does he hate it. 

“There’s… great food, but no atmosphere! Haha.. haha.” Nothing. He knows laughing at his own joke only makes it more awkward, but there’s no one left to laugh for him.

|

V 

“Heya, Basil!” 

“Kel…”

Kel throws the pencil out of the blue. Basil, frightened, seizes up in his seat and uses both of his arms to block it.  _ Maybe he shouldn’t have done that.  _ Opening one of the eyes he squeezed shut, Basil sees the pencil and lowers his defenses. What made him so afraid? He was  _ shaking.  _ Kel had been called a lot of things, but never scary. Before the awkward silence can begin, he pushes the pencil over to the other. Basil accepts it with a nod, and pulls out a floral pencil case to throw it in. He notices all the different shades of green, pink, and yellow that are mixed in there. Basil’s pencils are nice. He’d like to find out where he’d bought them.

Maybe now wasn’t the time to ask something like that. He wasn’t really sure. Now the quiet lack of noise between them was starting to get to him, and Kel needed to say something. He needed to keep this going  _ somehow. _

“Thanks, by the way. I didn’t mean to use it all day, but I forgot to return it to you.” He sheepishly scratched his head, and was suddenly made very aware of how far apart they sat, even on the same table. He scooted over a bit. Basil didn’t really have any more room to scoot away. He didn’t want to push it, so Kel stayed where he was and waited for a reaction.  _ Something, anything. Please. _

“No problem…” Basil mutters and finally,  _ finally,  _ Kel is able to hear his voice. It’s been so long that it’s odd hearing the higher pitched male speak again, and it brings back so many memories at once. It’s not everything he wanted, and it sounds quiet and strained, but god is it good enough. 

He can’t help but smile, even though he knows that it’s probably scaring Basil off. His heart tightens as he remembers the quote he was told by Mari. ‘Don’t be pushy to the pushover.’ She’d given him the advice when Basil stopped sitting next to him a year or two ago in math class, and he asked why. Her words were always so well written, like she put thought into each and every one. 

|

V

On the bus ride home, Kel doesn’t even bother to look at what seat he picks. He knows no one will be sitting down next to him anyway, and that’s fine. It’s just sitting alone. It’s not that terrible, right? Right? 

His heart softens when he stares down at the wall. A small pink sticker of a flower sat there, browning around the edges and starting to peel off from the bottom. Aubrey had placed it there last year on their first ride to mark her seat. And everytime someone took it, she’d point at the sticker and borderline harass them until they got off. A snicker left his mouth, reminiscent. 

Disgusting though it may seem, he peels off the sticker and presses it to the bridge of his nose. He never cared for getting his hands dirty anyway. And, god, he probably looks like a loser with such an odd accessory on, but no one will likely pay mind to it. A part of him wishes Aubrey would tease him about it, like normal. 

  
  


|

V

Kel decides to go for an evening walk. His parents aren’t home, and even if they were, they probably wouldn’t even notice he was gone. And plus, he usually (and surprisingly) gets all his homework finished by the time school is up. It helps distract him from the fact that his friends aren’t there. He doesn’t want to bother himself with thoughts about how quiet and empty the lunch table feels. He hates the  _ quiet.  _ It keeps invading every space of his life.

As soon as he leaves the house, his eyes dart to Sunny’s bedroom, where the faint glow of a game of blackjacks shines in the darkness. He smiles. 

Sometimes it’s nice to have a reminder that Sunny is even  _ alive  _ these days.

|

V

  
  


When he wakes up the next morning, he seems to forget everything and rushes downstairs after trying to smooth down his hair and brushing his teeth. He throws on his backpack, and he’s running so close to being late that it’s dangerous. 

He jumps into his shoes and walks into the kitchen, ready to stuff some bacon in his mouth and be on his way, but that familiar smell isn’t in the air. 

Hero isn’t there. It all comes rushing back to him like a massive slap in the face, seeing the kitchen counter empty and the lights off. Hero is back in bed, not cooking breakfast. He doesn’t know what got into him to think otherwise. 

Kel doesn’t eat breakfast that morning. He tries to ignore it when his stomach rumbles in the middle of math class. 

  
  


|

V 

  
  


Basil seems like he’s in a good mood today. His hair is ruffled up like he’s spent time outside, his skin is a bit brighter, and dirt lines the edges of his fingers. He hopes that’s because he’s been spending time caring for his plants, and not because of any other reason _.  _ It’s likely the former though, seeing as there’s just a slight smile on his lips. Of course it’s not a genuine one, but it’s the polite one that Basil always used to wear. It’s something close to normal. 

He wishes he could take care of people like Basil took care of plants. He’s mostly proud of who he is as a person, and has never really had a reason to doubt that… but after what happened, he’s started to wonder. Wonder if maybe he was as gentle and empathetic as Basil, he could coax Sunny out of the door. Maybe if he was as good a listener as Sunny, he might be able to calm Aubrey down. Maybe if he was as stubborn as Aubrey, he even admits, he could get his brother to do  _ something, anything _ . Maybe if he was more like Hero he could’ve kept everyone together. And maybe if he had just been a bit more of all of those… then Mari...

Kel takes a deep breath, before trying not to sound completely desperate and lame in asking a favor of Basil again,  _ just so he can talk to him.  _

“Basil, you have one of those fat pink erasers, right!? Mind lending me one for a few seconds? I totally ended up scrawling this dumb doodle over all my notes without paying attention. Haha!” He nervously blabbered, silently feeling relieved when Basil didn’t flinch in surprise at his approach. His friend just widened the polite smile as he reached into his pencil pouch again.

“That’s so like you, Kel…” He mumbled, mostly to himself, but audible enough for Kel to hear easily as he handed the eraser over. “Sorry.. forget I said anything.” He glanced back to the window, shifting farther away. 

“No, I see what you mean, haha! Wow, this erases so well!” Kel commented, trying to keep it going further than yesterday’s exchange. He was  _ finally  _ making progress on  _ someone,  _ and he didn’t want this attempt to end in failure, leaving him alone again. “Where did you buy it?” Basil seemed surprised at his over enthusiasm, but Kel was too excited to tone it down. 

“I don’t actually know… my art classmate Mincy gave it to me.” Kel remembers how Basil decided to take art class because their high school only offered a small selection of electives.  _ He used to take it with Sunny _ . It must hurt coming there everyday without his best friend there to draw with him. He could understand that feeling. At the very least Basil had another friend in that class. Kel couldn’t say the same for any of his. 

He tries to smile as he leans over to Basil. “Awesome! You should introduce me sometime, I mean, if I had erasers like this--”  _ maybe he could erase all the problems he causes  _ “--I can finally fix all my mistakes on the math homework!”

Basil shook his head, and Kel was a little surprised. He didn’t… he didn’t mind… but Basil wasn’t the type to say no so easily. So there must be a reason for it. 

“We’re not really… friends....” he trailed off, glancing away from Kel and moving to take the eraser back. Kel pulled back, guilty, but tried his best to cover it up with a smile, like he always did. He wishes he could’ve been more sincere, instead of acting like that, but what else could he  _ really do?  _

“Oh, sorry about that! I’m sure you two would get along great, though…”  _ Better than he’s doing right now, that’s for sure.  _ The toothy smile ached his mouth, and he wanted to stop it and just be  _ honest  _ about his feelings with Basil, but it was the middle of history class and he didn’t even think he’d be able to do that. But no matter how bright he tried to seem, Basil didn’t seem to respond after that, and Kel was left alone again. Maybe for now… he’d just stick to borrowing erasers. 

|

V

He talks with the after school basketball team for too long, because they scouted him out after seeing him shoot a few hoops. And it feels so wrong to get an opportunity because of that, because he remembers why he was throwing the basketball around that day. He was  _ mad, and he almost took it out on Hero.  _ He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t do a worse job at comforting his brother than he already was. And he found that shooting hoops all by his lonesome got the anger out in a… good way! One that didn’t affect others. So that’s why he decided to apply.

But… in talking to the team, he missed the bus. So Kel starts to walk home, deciding to knock on Sunny’s door for the second time that day. It couldn’t hurt, right? His parents wouldn’t mind (wouldn’t even notice) if he was a little late, so he might go buy a snack for Sunny too to drop off. 

|

V

He ends up buying simple graham crackers and a chocolate bar because they are thin enough to slip under the door. If they weren’t, Sunny might not  _ even see them _ . His feet skid on the sidewalk as he strolls down, but he screeches to a halt at the color that flashes in his eyes. It’s a stark contrast to the bland colors of the houses, a bright, bleeding pink. His eyes widen and he drops the bag on the ground at the sight.

**_Aubrey_ ** _ is standing there. Right there. In front of Sunny’s house.  _

He doesn’t realize that he’s dropped the bag on the ground, making a clattering sound on the sidewalk. Aubrey shakes herself out of the trance she was in, and flips around to glare into his eyes. Venom is in her gaze, and it almost makes Kel scared. Almost. But, this is Aubrey, he’s been victim to those aggressive eyes more than once. It’s… actually nice being noticed by Aubrey for once. Yeah… nice. 

“Aubr--”

“Fuck off, Kel. You didn’t see me here today.” Aubrey spat before he could finish, running to her scooter and hopping on. Kel’s heart saddened at the sight of tears in her eyes. Not that it’s forgiven what she’s become, but… he supposed even Aubrey was sad about all of this, huh. 

“He’s okay, you know.” Kel yelled before she left, not turning to face her but rather continuing to stare at the door which he remembered opening countless times, which he wished would open again. Behind him, he heard the scooter skid to a stop, and felt turquoise eyes pinpointed on only him. “I saw him in the window a couple months ago. He… closed the curtain after that. And yesterday his computer was glowing through the curtains. He’s… okay.” He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“But like you would even care, Aubrey. After all the shit you pulled--” But when he turns around, Aubrey is already gone. Of course. He rolled his eyes, walking up to the door and slipping the snacks he bought for Sunny through. He knocked. The monotonous sound didn’t even mean much to him anymore, after all the times he’d done it. 

“Hey… Sunny. It’s me! I’m here after school again. I bought some snacks for you… they should be sitting there. Remember when we used to use the pan Hero set on the oven while he wasn’t looking and make smores? You can’t cook them by yourself but… it still tastes good!”

There was no response. 

|

V

When his knocks aren’t answered at his own door, Kel grabs the house key from the doghouse and unlocks it. The lights are off, and there’s no one home. That’s odd. His parents are usually here at this hour… he checks the fridge to see if they left a note. No. He checks the home phone to see if they left a voice message. And then he pulls out his own slightly outdated phone to see if they’ve texted him. Nope. Where could they be? 

He opens the door to check his room, and when he sees the bed empty a spark of joy and exhilaration vibrates through him, only for a moment. But then he realizes that his parents have probably taken Hero to the doctor’s again.  _ And they didn’t even bother to let him know _ . It’s fine though. He’s sure something bad must’ve happened and that’s why they brought Hero. Hero was grieving more than him, and he really does want his older brother to get better, so it’s fine that they’re giving him more attention. Yeah. 

He starts to do his homework and clicks on the little lamp that he has on his desk, grabbing his pencil and starting to scratch at the table. But he finds his hand back on the button that turns the lamp on, pressing it over and over, and letting the clicking noise fill the room, and get rid of the silence. He hates the silence. It’s so… different. He doesn’t like the change. He wants Hero to be by his side, helping him with his homework again, or reminding him to do it in the first place. He doesn’t want to be  _ all alone  _ in this small room, in the middle of the night.

|

V

His parents tell him why they left with Hero when they get home. Apparently some kids were….  _ jump roping outside and… _ he shook his head. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about  _ her.  _ Hero is staggering when he comes through the door, the same blank expression set in stone on his face, but his hands are trembling. Kel helps his parents hold him up, and he takes a hold of the shaking hand closest to him. But then Hero shoves him away, gently, and he stands back, afraid. 

He goes to sleep, and ends up looking at Hero, who hasn’t talked since he came back. He wishes he could help somehow. 

“Hey… Hero?”

…

“I love you.” He whispers hoarsely, and is it so selfish to wish for a reply?

He tries to ignore it when he’s woken up by muffled sobbing in the middle of the night. He feels so,  _ so  _ **_useless._ ** He can’t do anything for Hero. Can he do anything for anyone?

|

V

He doesn’t bother to knock on Sunny’s door that morning. Well, more accurately, he forgot to. He was too busy about thinking about the look on Hero’s face last night. Cold, empty,  **_dead._ ** He doesn’t want to lose another person in his life. He doesn’t think he can keep it up if that happens. 

When he gets to school,  _ earlier than usual because he didn’t wanna take the bus. He just stood there with a blank face for minutes not being able to process anything. Like everything in him just… stopped,  _ he hears some frightened whimpering. Are some of the mean kids from elementary trying to scare a cat again?

But he turns the corner of the building, and what he sees there is…

**_Basil. Basil, on the ground, knees scratched and hair ruffled. Trembling._ **

**_And Aubrey. Aubrey standing a couple feet away, crossing her arms and staring away from it all._ **

“Aubrey, what the  _ HELL?”  _ is all Kel manages to get out, and he runs over to Basil’s side. Basil doesn’t look at him, but a plastic smile is plastered onto his face and it makes Kel frightened. Aubrey stands in shock, eyes widened and it almost looks like she feels  _ guilty.  _ Kel doesn’t believe it. How could she do something so cruel?

He helps Basil off the ground, sending a foreboding glare to Aubrey, who was backing away trembling, slowly. Served her _right._ She soon left the scene in a frantic run, leaving Kel and Basil alone. “Basil, come on. Let’s get you to the nurse’s office.” He said, as firmly as he could, and they walked away. 

|

V

“How  _ long  _ has she been doing that?” Kel finally asked when they left the nurse’s office, and Basil shuddered. A part of him knew that Basil would refuse to answer… but… still…

Basil just shook his head, as expected. The empty hallway echoed the silence, and Kel let out a breathy sigh. What would it take to just get Basil to…  _ talk to him?  _ He didn’t know how. He just… couldn’t find a way. Basil is the last chance he has and he doesn’t want to lose it. Basil is the last person in his life that hasn’t completely run away from him. So if he could just…

“You don’t have to answer. But I’m gonna come pick you up and walk you to and from school for a little. Aubrey’s doing more damage than she wants to, and if I let this keep up, then both you and her are going to face some bad consequences.” He stated plainly, nodding to Basil, who seemed hesitant to accept. He wishes Basil would just let himself be helped, but he’s decided that he’s going to do this no matter what.  _ It’s what Mari would’ve wanted.  _ “No buts.” He hoped that by doing this, he could at least be helpful. In some little way.

|

V

He glances over at Basil from the history table. The blonde is staring wistfully out of the window again, like he wants to leave. Where does he want to run away to so badly?  _ Could I come with you?  _ There’s been an awkward tension between them ever since this morning, and he wonders if what he said was wrong earlier. Maybe it was how he said it. It’s fine. It’s fine. He can just apologize. It shouldn’t be that hard. 

“Basil… I’m sorry about being so… serious and stuff this morning. I know that’s not really my thing. I was just really worried about you and all…” He drifted off awkwardly, hoping that he wasn’t wording it too badly. He nervously shifted his elbow to see if Basil would even talk to him. 

“Thanks.” 

Kel smiled. Or at least, tried his best to. He slid the eraser over to Basil and leaned on his hand to take a nap. He’d been through a lot yesterday. A lot that he didn’t really want to think about. And sleep is always quiet. The comfortable kind. 

|

V

The walk home is mostly filled with small talk from him, and small replies from the other. On their way out of the school, Aubrey sees him and Basil standing there. And he expects a glare… but Aubrey just turns away back to her ‘gang’. It felt… odd. Kel points out a few of the places they used to hang out on the way, and Basil seems to smile at the memories. At least that’s going well. The sun is shining a dull brightness over the horizon, lighting everything up in a mellow, gentle way. It’s calming, and it’s nice to enjoy it with company. Even if that company felt fake. 

“A-aren’t your parents going to be worried? My house is kinda far away and… after… after…” ( _ Kel knows what he means. He doesn’t bother to fill in the blank)  _ “I’m sure they must be watching over you much closer.” He knows that Basil is making an excuse for him to stop walking with him, but he doesn’t care. It’s nice to hear… concern from someone. It’s been a while. It feels nice. 

“They’re more occupied with Hero, so I guess you could say I’m left to do whatever I want! It’s… cool… I guess.” Kel’s confident tone seemed to give in at the end, and it let his insecurities leak in. It’s fine. Freedom is nice. Isn’t this what he always wanted as a kid? It’s… it’s like a dream. Yeah. Basil froze up for a moment, guilt ridden on his face. Kel didn’t mean to make him feel guilty. He doesn’t want to make anyone feel that way. He was so,  _ so bad  _ at cheering people up.

“Basil… thanks for… talking to me. You’re a really nice person. A really nice  _ friend. _ ” Kel managed to get out after building his courage, hoping to take Basil’s mind off anything bad. Basil looked up to him, a slight sparkle in his eyes, and smiled. For once, the smile looked genuine. Not plastic, not polite, not… forced. Just  _ real. _

“I should be the one telling that to you…” Basil mumbled under his breath shyly, and Kel smiled. 

|

V

Kel threw his backpack over his shoulders and opened the curtains to the living room. With a cheerful skip in his step, he runs upstairs to his room. 

“Hero! I’m leaving early, to pick up Basil. Have a good… have a good day.” He said with a smile that he knew would never be seen. For some reason… it didn’t dishearten him that morning. He was excited to walk with Basil. It had been a while since he had a friend to accompany him and… things had gone really,  _ really  _ well yesterday. He felt like things were finally gonna go back to normal soon. That everything was  _ okay.  _

He skids to a stop at Sunny’s door. It’s earlier than usual, and the pale boy may be asleep but… to hell with it. He knocks three times, humming a tune. “Sunny, wanna come join me? I’m going to pick up Basil. It’s fine if you don’t of course. Haha.” 

  
He waits through a whole minute of silence, and when he can’t hear a single sound from the eerie home, he decides to be on his way. That’s a shame. He thought he might have a fighting chance today with the promise of Basil. 

He eventually is greeted by Polly at Basil’s door, and Basil comes out wearing a shy smile and his usual backpack. Polly flatters him a bit too long, so he has to cut her short, but it makes him feel jittery inside nonetheless. All the attention must be getting to him. Polly reminds him a bit of his mother. Without the naggy, short tempered side, of course. They walk to school together, and Kel has to consciously slow down so Basil can keep up. 

|

V

Kel doesn’t bother to ask for a pencil in history class. It was a lame excuse to talk to Basil in the first place, but he feels like he doesn’t have to force himself today. To be fair he… doesn’t really know how else he’s gonna be able to talk to Basil this way. 

“Kel, can I… borrow a pencil?” Basil says with a light smile, and Kel’s eyes widen with wonder at the implications. There’s  _ no way  _ Basil would forget his pencil case. He  _ always, always  _ brings it. In fact, Kel saw him take out an eraser earlier. So then… that must mean….

**_Basil wants to talk to him!_ **

“Sure!” He yells, a little  _ too  _ loudly, and Basil shrivels back nervously. He fishes through his messy backpack to grab whatever cylindrical object he can grasp, a few crumpled papers that he stuffed in there falling out and floating to the ground in the process. The one he eventually finds is short, and kinda dull, but it’s a pencil nonetheless. “Here you go!” He says with a toothy grin, tossing it over to Basil, who, surprisingly, caught it.

“Nice catch! So…” He continues nervously, not wanting the exchange to end there and be consumed with silence once again. “How are you doing, Basil?” He shrugs, and Basil shrugs in response, glancing down apprehensively to the pencil he was just gifted. He twirled it around in his hand for a couple seconds, and Kel stared at him, as if egging him on to answer. 

“I’m doing fine!” Basil blurts out with a smile that Kel knows all too well is fake. That’s fine. His is fake too, but if they can just sit here and play pretend, ignorant of the events of the past, that was good enough with him. He just wanted somewhere he could feel  _ safe, normal. Acknowledged.  _ “...what about you?” Basil asked, almost concerned, and Kel just waved him off.

“I’m doing the same as usual, I guess.” Usual is feeling like he’s doing something wrong. Usual is feeling an unending loneliness. ‘Usual’ no longer exists in his life. It’s all different now, and the only ‘usual’ he has left is Basil. And he’s clinging onto that for dear life. He searches through his brain for some kind of small talk he can bring up, when he glances at the potted plants on the windowsill and gets an idea.

“That cactus you gave me a while ago is still doing well, even though I forget to water it half the time.” He sighed, rubbing his hand on his head, sheepish. “I even gave it a name!” He does a little childish drumroll on the table, preparing to announce it. “Captain Spiky the spa-- I mean-- desert pirate!” He cringes at his mess up, realizing that all the Captain Spaceboy merch in his room must’ve gotten into his brain somehow. Straightening up, he turns back to Basil who is--

_ Who is  _ **_giggling._ **

Basil is giggling quietly under his breath, using a hand to cover his mouth and hunched over taking shallow breaths. Kel joins in, feeling like he’s finally done something  _ right.  _ He hasn’t laughed so genuinely with a  _ friend  _ in so long, and the feeling consumes his body. He’s happy, so happy, and it feels like throbbing chains have uncoiled from his heart and set it free. It’s like everything is back to normal. 

̶I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶M̶a̶r̶i̶ ̶i̶s̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶d̶.̶

̶I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶H̶e̶r̶o̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶g̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶h̶a̶p̶p̶i̶l̶y̶ ̶w̶e̶l̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶h̶o̶m̶e̶.̶

̶I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶a̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶S̶u̶n̶n̶y̶'̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶y̶t̶i̶m̶e̶.̶

̶I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶A̶u̶b̶r̶e̶y̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶w̶a̶l̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶c̶h̶o̶o̶l̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶c̶h̶e̶e̶r̶f̶u̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶m̶i̶l̶i̶n̶g̶.̶

̶I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶a̶l̶l̶y̶  _ ̶o̶k̶a̶y̶.̶ _

He and Basil talk the rest of class, happily, allowing the warm feeling to linger and simmer until it was a part of the air itself. They shared smiles and more laughter, and there was never any silence.  _ Kel was so, so grateful.  _

|

V

\----------------------------------------

Mom <3: Kel, where are you?

Mom <3: Can you come home really quick?

Mom <3: We need someone to watch over Hero while we’re getting groceries.

You: I’m walking home w/ someone rn

You: Any chance u can wait a few?

Mom <3: No, we’ve already left.

You: K

You: I’ll take a detour, I guess :)

\----------------------------------------

Kel put away his phone and looked over to Basil. Guiltily, he opened his mouth. “Sorry, Basil. I gotta head home, but we can take the route to my house and then you can go home from there, if that’s okay?” He grinned, and Basil nodded nervously, almost hesitant to. They started making their way, continuing the idle chatter that had been going on before his phone buzzed. The birds chirped in the far distance, and it was peaceful. 

Basil got quieter as they went along the street where he lived, and eventually it just dawned to silence. He wanted to start something, but they were almost there and he was worried they wouldn’t finish the conversation once they arrived. He sped up his steps hoping to rid himself of the awkward silence between them as fast as he could. He turned to Basil, wondering if he was keeping up.

But Basil wasn’t there. 

Where had he gone? Kel flipped around, scanning his surroundings rapidly until he finally spotted Basil standing on the sidewalk a few feet away, staring up.  _ Staring up at Sunny and Ma-- at Sunny’s house.  _ He was trembling from his head to the tips of his toes, and Kel’s eyes widened. He had entirely forgotten that Sunny’s house was right next to his. He had entirely forgotten how Basil must feel passing by it. 

_ It was a mistake to bring him here it was a mistake to bring him here it was a mistake to bring him here it was a mistake to bring him here it was a mistake to bring him here it was a mistake to bring him here it was a mistake to bring him here it was a mistake to bring him here it was a mistake to bring him here-- _

“...Sunny?” Basil whispered apprehensively, and began taking unstable footsteps towards the door. Kel ran up to stop him. He tried to. His feet were stuck in place, and he couldn’t move them to the ground. It felt like thousands of needles had stabbed through his shoes, pinpointing him in place, and making his feet scream with pain. He reached out a hand and tried to call out, but the sound wouldn’t come. It was like his entire body was rendered  _ useless. So useless. _

_ Knock. _

**_Knock._ **

**_Knock._ **

The rapping of Basil’s hands on the door sounded throughout the street, and Basil stood there, staring blankly. His eyes were without their usual shimmer, and they seemed clouded over, as if harboring a storm within them. And he was still trembling. Was it in fear? Or anger? His voice was raspy and quiet as he finally spoke up.

“Sunny, it’s me. Basil. Please come out.” He said, too quiet for  _ Sunny  _ to even hear. The threads of his voice were about to snap, and Kel couldn’t do a thing. “Please.  _ Please. _ ” Basil begged, and Kel’s heart ached. A part of him wished that Sunny would really show himself, and Basil could  _ calm down  _ but he knew that would never happen. And a part of him knew that if Sunny, by some miracle, opened the door, then all his efforts were for naught. That Basil was more important than him. It hurt to think about. 

Basil froze, and dropped to his knees on the dilapidated door mat in front of him, and Kel just stood there and watched. Watched in terrible,  _ terrible cruelty  _ as he knew that Basil would be rejected. That his wishes wouldn’t be answered. 

“Please please please  _ please please  _ **_please please pleasepleasepleaseplease COME OUT!_ ** ” Basil sobbed and screamed desperately beating the door with weak punches, scraping his nails against the wood. And Kel had never heard him raise his voice to such a volume, not ever in his life. He finally found himself rushing to Basil’s side, placing two hands on his shoulders and shaking out of the daze. It didn’t work. Of course it didn’t. It wasn’t like the same trick had worked on Hero, either. He just sat there, whispering comforting words to the sobbing boy in front of him, hoping that any of it would just do  _ something.  _

Suddenly, violently, pale hands pushed him away, and Kel went tumbling down onto the sidewalk, and everything hurt. He had hit his head on the cold stone, and it had gifted him with scratches and scrapes everywhere. But none of that worried him. What was pressuring his mind most right then, was that  **_Basil_ ** _ was the one who did it to him.  _ Tears started brimming at his eyes, which he quickly wiped away with his forearm. 

“Sunny..  _ You’re all I have left…  _ **please… don’t leave me all** **_alone_ ** **.** ” Basil cried softly, and Kel struggled to get a view of him from his position laying on the cold, hard stone. All he had left? All alone? 

So he was never a companion to Basil in the first place. Basil didn’t care about him. Just like everyone else. His attempt to escape the silence and loneliness didn’t mean anything to Basil. Of course.  _ Of course. Basil was just being polite.  _ He pressed his forehead to the ground, letting out a sigh that mingled with the air and came back in hot breath hitting his face. 

And when he looked back up, Basil was gone. He was alone. Not  _ again.  _

|

V

He couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye to Hero that morning. He just closes the door as quietly as he can and tries not to wake anyone up. When he gets outside the sun is blaring uncomfortably bright in his eyes.  _ Too bright.  _

He stares at the ground on the walk to the bus station, because he doesn’t want to see  _ that place,  _ and he’s walking to the bus station because he can’t bring himself to pick up Basil after what happened. Why can’t he? Why isn’t he allowed to just walk over there and pretend nothing happened?  _ Why can’t everybody just PLAY ALONG?  _

He avoided Sunny’s house like the plague and finally arrived at school, where he was greeted by his  _ new  _ friends that he’d made that year. They had really only approached him because he played basketball, and it was like that was all they ever talked about. They hardly even shared any past or even classes together. He thinks one or two of them were his playground buddies but he doesn’t want to remember. He doesn’t want to remember how  _ happy  _ things were back then.

History class finally came. Kel walked in, glanced around, and a part of him saddened at the realization that Basil wasn’t going to come. Of course he wasn’t. How long would it take for him to see Basil? He needed to apologize, he needed to fix it, he  _ needed  _ to bring things  _ back to normal. He needed to get Basil back.  _

“Michigan”

“Here…”

“Astrid”

“Here!”

“Marilyn”

“Present.”

Wait, what?

Kel, confused, glanced up at their teacher in the front and raised his hand, tentative. That couldn’t be right… “Hey teach! You missed Basil!” He yelled before she even called on him, and the teacher rolled their eyes and stared down at him, uncompromising. 

“Oh, flower boy? He transferred out yesterday. Sorry, bud.” No sympathy echoed in their dull, droning voice as always, and Kel lowered his hand until it fell limp, slamming on the table.  _ Transferred out?  _ Had he messed up that badly-- oh god-- was Basil that scared of him? His heart exploded out of his chest and he tried to hold it together when the documentary started playing. He tried to pretend everything was fine, and that Basil was sitting there right next to him, quiet and silenced as always. Basil was there. Basil has always been there. Chair isn’t empty.  _ Basil is  _ **_there._ **

(He isn’t.)

|

V

Kel skipped his after school basketball practice.

He ran and ran and  _ ran,  _ desperately, to Basil’s house, determined to not let what he’d been building up for weeks fall apart so easily, so fragile in strength. Determined to cling onto what remained in this budding bruise of despair that had been blooming, infecting his everything. Wanting to bring the one bit of normal left in his life back, and find a reason to forget about Mari. To forget  _ she  _ even existed in the first place. 

He slows down and starts panting furiously once he finally arrives, chest heaving and beads of sweat running rampant down his forehead. And then finally, he knocks on the door.

_ Knock. _

**_Knock._ **

**_Knock._ **

It creaks open, to his relief, and he’s greeted by the warm and friendly Polly. But… something felt off. She wasn’t wearing a welcoming smile that made her wrinkles crinkle up her face, or closing her eyes as if she could place blind trust in anyone. She was staring straight at him, worried. With the kind of look that his mom had thrown at him when _she… she..._ _when_ ** _Mari_** _…_

“Sorry, Kel. Basil told me he doesn’t want to see you.”

Kel took a step back. He wanted to run. Polly reached out a hand to stop him.

“You’re a good kid, Kel… and I’m sure you didn’t do anything wrong  _ but… I  _ have to respect Basil’s wishes as his caretaker.” 

He ran.

|

V

Why,  _ why? _

He tried so hard. He was doing everything right, being friendly, being happy, he was being everything  _ he could possibly be  _ and STILL. Still, it fell apart. Was he so easy to forget? So easy to be gone from someone’s life and there be no difference? Was he so  _ useless?  _ Why did everyone abandon him like a pebble on the side of the road? 

The door to his bedroom creaked open. He doesn’t remember how he ended up opening it, but he went through the motions as everything felt like a blur. The light isn’t on, and he’s too beyond himself to remember where the switch is. So Kel collapses onto a bed.

_ Hero’s bed.  _

The blankets are much nicer than the ones on his own, soft and frequently washed due to his parents’ influence. He remembers the nights where Hero would have some nightmare about spiders and pull him over to his bed and they would just lie together until morning. It was times like those where  _ he  _ had felt like the big brother. Where he hadn’t felt entirely useless. Where he hadn’t felt alone. So he nuzzled into the blankets, ignoring the fact that Hero was glaring at him, god knows why.

A hoarse sniffle and a single quiet sob escapes him when Hero shifts from under the sheets. “Hero..? I’m *hic* I’m sorry.” He cries out as quietly as he can manage to make himself, and Hero doesn’t tear those piercing eyes from his head.

“Can’t you just pretend? Can’t we just pretend-- pretend everythingisfineand-- can’t you just  _ talk to me? _ ” His hands tighten on the blankets, trembling and squeezing with grip so tight that his fingernails scrape against his palm. 

“ _ You’re all I have left…  _ **_please_ ** **don’t leave me all** **_alone._ ** ” He mimics Basil in small mutters, gasping and sobbing in between. If anyone isn’t there for him, Hero’s always here right? Hero-- Hero can cheer him up. 

_ Is this even Hero in front of him?  _

The  _ something  _ that’s in front of him doesn’t move. Doesn’t stir. It just stares at him until its eyes slip closed and Kel is left without its presence. Why is that  _ something  _ in his bed? Why did  _ something  _ steal Hero’s side of the room? WHERE IS  **HERO?**

He doesn’t know why he does it, but he does it anyway. He tears his hands from the sheets and runs out of the room, slamming the door shut. His parents aren’t even there as he swings the front door open and rushes out onto the street. His bare feet get cut and scratched from the loose pebbles on the sidewalk, but he can’t feel the pain. His brain is too busy pounding in his skull.

|

V

He’s trembling when he reaches Sunny’s house. And he sprints, not to the door, but to the  _ fence.  _

It’s illegal.

It’s illegal to trespass, but this is Faraway town and they hardly regulate the laws that well here anyway. He would be skinned alive if his parents found out. He’d rather be skinned alive than ignored. He’d rather be admonished rather than set aside like an old toy. So he does it. He climbs the fence.

The a few splinters from the rotting wood prick the calloused skin of his fingers, and Kel winces as he finally reaches the top and leaps over. The fence shifts violently once he reaches the ground, and it’s a miracle that it hasn’t broken. It seems the fence is the only thing that hasn’t  _ broken  _ in the past while. His hands graze the grass, slightly damp and not mowed for what seems like a month or two. He looks up at the sky.

In the distance of Sunny’s backyard, a tall tree can be seen. It’s peaceful, swaying in the wind, it’s green leaves falling off as the year progresses further. It used to be. Now that tree is a horror, a curse, and something that Kel doesn’t want to look at right now. Something he wants to forget about. 

So Kel squeezes his eyes lid tight and runs as fast as he can past that tree. What tree?  _ That’s not a tree, that’s an execution block. That place is the source of all his problems.  _ He jerks back and falls to the ground, barely catching the impact with his hands as he hits the ground. The bark he’s hit is different than the other tree, and it’s mixed with the stringy twine of a rope ladder.

_ The treehouse.  _

With weak yet determined hands, Kel grips the ladder and begins to climb. It’s windy, and the ladder sways violently, causing him to shiver in his thin jersey. It stretches underneath the newfound weight and muscle that he’s gained in the short amount of time since he’s been there. And just when it feels like it’s about to snap and break, and crash to the ground, he makes it to the top. 

It’s  _ still there.  _ All their things are still there, sitting like a frozen moment of time inside the tree. Mr. Plantegg, the cards, the paper flowers, it’s all  _ still there.  _ It hasn’t left. This place won’t leave him alone. It won’t abandon him. It’s  _ still here.  _

Kel sits in the middle of the floor, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them and placing his chin on the top. He closed his eyes.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Kel! You’re finally here! I was gonna go back to our house and fetch you if you didn’t show up soon.**

**What took you so long to arrive, dummy! We’ve been waiting ages~!**

**Hi. Kel.**

**Kel, come on, join us!**

_ He reached out and took Basil’s hand, and he pulled him in before everything turned to black. _

  
  
  
  
  
  


He opened his eyes. The tree house was empty. Hero wasn’t there smiling, sending him a courteous wave from the window. Aubrey wasn’t there scolding him about his tardiness and placing a delicate hand on her hip. Sunny wasn’t there, flipping through a book until he decided to finally acknowledge his presence. Basil wasn’t there. Basil was never going to be there again.

**_He was all alone._ **

It starts as a whimper, and then a muffled sob, and suddenly he’s crying and sobbing as louder than he should, his pain drowned out by the shifting of the green leaves above. Tears run down his knees and he buries his face inside them, never wanting to look up. But he cries and cries and no one comes, no one shows up to comfort him. All he can do is sit and weep, longing for what once was.

**_He is all alone._ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> it. 
> 
> It was not originally supposed to be angst.


End file.
